POV Challenge: Week 3, Sample 2

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The POV challenge continues! Details on this week’s goal here.


oneworld

The viewing deck was too empty. The pale, wet weather obscuring the view of the city had kept the crowds away for days. The plan had seemed like a good one. Tourist traps were the best feeding grounds – so many people, so many distractions. Easy accidents. But there had to be enough people.

Skell tightened the hood over his face with gloved hands, pressing himself further into the corner. He pulled the newspaper from a pocket of his jeans and flicked it open. Inconspicuous. So far, he hadn’t drawn the attention of security. With the crowds so thin, they seemed more concerned with last night’s game than the creeper in the corner. They should be fired. The might be, by the time the day was over. Or, one or two of them might be missing a limb. Skell clicked his jaw in amusement. He had to feed on someone.

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3 comments

  1. Frustration and anticipation for the… bone eating skeleton. Aside from the fact that his “jaw clicked in amusement,” we couldn’t tell he was a skeleton, but we could tell he was going to eat at least part of someone in that room. I enjoyed the observations made by Skell, his judgments about the guards, his calculated scrutiny of the location and population of the room.

    I was just thinking that in a number of places nowadays, a newspaper might almost be a give-away of someone “odd.” It definitely fits in New York City or another large city where one might be more likely to come across some businessman with a Wall Street Journal. It’s a lot harder to hide behind a Kindle. Times, they are a’ changing!

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  2. You gave the bone-eating skeleton a nickname! Skell–I like it. I loved the subtle tells–the nickname, the gloved hands, the hooded face, the anticipation that a few security guards may soon be missing a limb, then the clicking jaw. Which, because of the other clues, has now become a dead giveaway, but by itself is still not conclusive evidence.

    Also–I like the shortness of this piece. Well done!

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    1. PS–When Skell pulled a newspaper out of his pocket, I didn’t envision a newspaper. Because it came out of his pocket, I envisioned something more pocket-sized, like a phone or an e-reader. So it was Shannon’s comment that made me go back and re-read that. I agree–it seems out of place now, and like it might attract too much attention.

      Unless that’s what he wants. He’s using the newspaper as bait, to lure and entice his prey…oh, how clever!

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