POV Challenge: Week 2, Sample 1

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The POV challenge continues! Details on this week’s goal here.

 


 

 

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Rain crawled down my skin like sweat, warm and salty, vile with the city’s acidic stench. I pulled the collar of my trench closer around my face, but the damage had already been done. Piss water. That’s all the rain was. I had been pissed on by every agent in the city, and now the city itself was pissing on me too. I didn’t have what it took. I had played a hundred shows back home. Sure, it was the same 50 people in the same shitty bar,  but I couldn’t even get ten minutes on a stage in the city. 

No. I had it wrong. The city was my stage.  

 

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4 comments

  1. Oh, crap. I should, like answer the questions I said we needed to, huh? Okay!

    Which character did you choose? – Rockstar
    Was the POV deep and immersive? Yes. I lived that paragraph.
    What did the Voice tell you that wasn’t directly provided in the story? He’s been at the bottom for a long time in his life. He feels like he’s spent most of his life in the gutters and this dream of his to be a rock star was his way out. However, he’s realizing just how hard it is to get out of the gutters in this line of work, and he’s angry that he might have to alter his dream. He hasn’t reached the point where he’s actually admitting he needs the change out loud. But he knows somewhere inside him, that he’s going to have to come to that realization soon.

    And you get all that when you allow the reader to LIVE the story. They fill in the blanks with their own experience.

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  2. I totally forgot there were questions…

    Which character did you choose? The rockstar
    Was the POV deep and immersive? Yes. Very sensory and evocative.
    What did the Voice tell you that wasn’t directly provided in the story? The character is aware of his abilities, knowing he is at least somewhat good with the number of times he’s performed and likely the small following he has. I’m not sure if he has a sense of entitlement, as the phrase “I didn’t have what it took” places the blame for his failure at least partly on himself, rather than “I was told I didn’t have what it took,” where the blame falls on the other party. He definitely wants to get out of a world of mediocrity, out of the rut of “normal” and move on to bigger and better, and he was going to do so one way or another.

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  3. Eww! I felt the water dripping down the back of my own neck–disgusting! lol The rock star had missed their Big Break, and what the Voice (not the content) tells us is that they are about to become a busker/street musician.

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